ABUSE REPORT

Today my printer decided to act like a total arsehole and chew up some important printouts which I needed to go do some late night shopping with later. After abusing it for about an hour and beating it with it's own toner cartridges - I demanded that one of the tosspot technicians in the office come and look at the bloody thing. Surprisingly it did not take much abuse before one of them got off their arse.

When he started on my printer I gave him 2 minutes to fix it before I would start abusing him which I thought was fair. His time passed so I started. Just as I was getting warmed up he told me I was fractious. How… bloody…. dare… he! Me... fractious! This really pissed me off for 3 reasons; firstly: how dare anyone try to abuse me. People are there for me to abuse. Secondly: he used a word I don't know the meaning of and thirdly: because I bloody well felt like it. This meant that he had to have relentless industrial strength abuse until he fixed the printer which he didn't do in the end because of some excuse which I will tell the MD he made up. Because of him I managed to be really abusive for the rest of the day. Bald people really piss me off!

Abuse Report Episode 19

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