9th June 1996

This morning I woke up and selected my perfectly matching garments, however, in choosing these perfectly coordinated clothes I took 3 seconds longer than I should have done so I took out my electrodes and had a three second spell. Due to the above incident my whole morning was disrupted and in an effort to get to school on time I added an extra 1.5mph to my usual speed. As I was continuing along the road I noticed a flame coming from under the bonnet of my car, of which I ignored as it seemed to be perfectly straight. However, I soon noticed that the flame had grew to a foot in height which became very distressing, so much so I slowed down in an attempt to stop. Before I could do this the bonnet flew up blocking my field of view which then caused me to swerve severely and drive into a ditch. I attempted to reverse the car out of the ditch but the car was totally stuck. As I was already late for school I decided that I would have to run, which I did maintaining a perfect line down the middle of the road causing abuse from the other drivers. For this event I have decided to go without breakfast for a whole two weeks and have a three minute spell on my electrodes three times a day.

During the day I had to deal with three appalling individuals who were eating chewing gum in my lesson. I dealt with them and gave them a punishment which I think is suitable.

Today during my lunch hour I sat down to eat my sandwich and found that I had made the cut down the centre of my sandwich 3 degrees out, so I took the sandwich and threw it in the bin. For not cutting the line down the centre of my sandwich perfectly I have decided that I should go on my foil body suit for once a day for a whole week.

My day was brightened up when I arrived at homer to be greeted by 200 lovely tests from foreign countries. I immediately started to mark these tests and soon found that the French standard is better than that of British so I considered moving to France to teach but I have decided that learning a foreign language would be too much to fit into my daily routine.

Daily Report Episode 12

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