Greetings and salutations!


Greetings and salutations!

After some thought, I have come to the conclusion that as a model and experienced young gentleman of 20 years of age I will document my thoughts and activities for readers to understand and learn from. They and future people will no doubt greatly appreciate my efforts.

As an example of how I improve people's lives can be seen simply by looking at the title of my writings; the clever and perfect mix between German and English; a concept of my own invention and paying homage to my glorious dual heritage. This is a small example of what I can bring.

Eine Habe My Diary

Today being Monday I attended the university as usual. I have recently graduated from a Higher National Certificate (leapt over actually) and achieved a Higher National Diploma as well as carrying my friends and associates through to this level which, for them, is a massive achievement. I am currently studying for a degree in Computing. I have selected this since Computing since as a more global term will sound much more impressive when I qualify.

Being at university and a keen observer of student life I see people not looking after themselves with smoking, drinking and sometimes drugs and even having sex when they should be focused on their studies.

This final year will show how impressive I am. Unfortunately I believe my friends and associates are unlikely to be able to handle the demands.

I have noticed that my associates submit coursework early or on time no doubt to earn sympathy marks or to impress the lecturers whereas my strategy is to wait just over the deadline and hand in a piece of work that often flogs any set word limits to death!

The new spring semester has recently started and although I have joined a new group of students I am aware of which modules I will come top of the class in. Incidentally, one of those was the classes for today, that being Website Management though I have a superior natural ability with Networking.

I arrived at the class and I was greeted by the usual "watto" by one of the tactless individuals that compose of my group of associates for this to fornicate and other individuals to utter this greeting. I find this person, Leo is his name (short for Leonard I assume) to be rather irritating and grating upon oneself. Usually hearing “watto” from him means that the mockery of me is about to begin. Not only must I tolerate this he also has friends that do the same!. One I call Mr Knowsit, a cretinous individual who is more appropriately described as a criminal rather than a student and close associate of Leo and the other, Marion who is not only a female studying IT (which is just laughable) but makes distasteful predatory sexual advances wherever she goes. She has even gone as far as to printout some of her appalling dialogue for Leo and Knowsit to read.

The last person I will mention is Thom. A gentle guy who takes in everything I tell him. I am very fond of him for this reason.

Interestingly, I was able to get into my work today. There was few requests of myself to help. Usually sessions are filled with people asking me for assistance (sometimes even the lecturers themselves!) much to the detriment of my own progression yet this rarely effects me earning high marks regardless. I Think my associates are getting to grips with the module.

This session of Website Management went very well and I found the lecturer to be adequate in his knowledge and mid-morning the session ended and we retired to the drinking establishment (pub they call it) for some much needed refreshment. This is where I am engaged in topical discussion as I know my group of associates value my vast knowledge and advice whilst at the same time I am able to display my drinking prowess as well as mastery on the Pool tables. I have yet to be beaten by anybody of significance.

Unfortunately, when discussing various topics and issues, Leo consistently disagrees and openly challenges me. Even though he is older and has been employed in IT, it does not give him this right! He has also made Knowsit and Marion disbelievers. His arrogant nature sees me having to put extra effort into telling the others how correct I am about everything. This is no longer an issue for me knowing that my group of associates listen to me over everyone else and I would NEVER ask for his help with work.

After a few hours had passed I began my journey home. This does take approximately 60 minutes and I have novels to entertain me. At the moment I can deep into the novelisation of a recent and somewhat controversial film involving 2 cowboys. I am finding the story very moving on several levels. I do not like to share my sophisticated taste in literature with simpletons (the public) especially those I have to commute with, nor do I follow what is popular, so I keep the covers hidden for these reasons.

Very occasionally whilst on route to and from home I will indulge in some confectionary from a little known intimate delicatessen.

The majority of nights I am busy with university work, reading, attending music lessons and Street Fighting lessons. It is important that not only my mind be formidable but my body also. I am extremely athletically fit unlike the vast majority of students and indeed non-students with whom I am forced to mix with. Not only does this high level of fitness include running speed but I have large visible muscles also which I have developed from regularly researching many weightlifting magazines.

I am just as valuable to those in my social life as my university associates. I have many cool friends with common interested with whom I socialise. I recently had great success in the role of best man at a long time friend's wedding.

This evening I read about some events in the history of my home country, Wales.

During my journey home I anticipated a sublime beef dish waiting for when I arrived. Something like a topside beef joint cooked with garlic cinnamon herbs and red wine with undersized new potatoes (with the skin on of course) with a sprout of parsley. When I arrived home, to my surprise, nothing had been prepared.

My mother, a writer of accomplished and published works, will no doubt have continued to craft a textual work of art throughout the day and lost track of the time and simply forgot about a meal for me. I have inherited excellent skills in the English language from her which allow me to have excellent expression which you will see and also benefit from.

After a short while she did make me a very simple meal which I tolerated, however, this behaviour is becoming a trend of late. She also seemed to be in a somewhat uncharacteristic mood.

My father, an experienced member of staff at the nearby educational institute of Jason Mega College (JMC) had already left for his post by the time I had arrived home. I understand too well the stresses of bringing knowledge and motivation to those who do not naturally poses these qualities.

So already from this glimpse into my varied and plenteous life you can see it will be highly important and highly beneficial to learn from me. If people were to strive to reach my (already) dizzy heights then they can live a superior life as I do. Because you will be successful, people will want to be around you and you will be needed.

Others will be afraid to confront you and you will have the advantage as they will be grateful for the wisdom you provide them. You will be essential to their lives as am I.

Episode 2

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